Showing posts with label Comedian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comedian. Show all posts

Friday, October 5, 2007

My Night With Bill Clinton

I live near Carnegie Hall basically because if I open the window, sometimes I can hear the music…and if I can’t hear the music, it certainly beats living near a garbage dump. On the other hand, maybe I do live near a garbage dump. The other night I tried to come back to my apartment after an evening of rivalry (basically borscht and blintzes), and found the way to my apartment blocked, and dozens of policemen and police cars in the street.

Concerned that there may have been a natural disaster, I inquired of the policemen. It turned out that there was a disaster, but the disaster’s name was Bill Clinton. He was speaking at Carnegie Hall, and because of this, the street was closed off, police cars were all around too, etc. I told them I am going to my apartment, and they could arrest me if they like, secure in the knowledge that, at least as far as I knew, there was no crime called “Violating the Clinton Statute.” So I went happily to my apartment unarrested. Now, the unworthy thought occurs to me that if a semi-crook like Clinton, who was disbarred (too big a liar to be a lawyer), impeached, alleged to have raped a woman, perjured himself, “sold” pardons, and even went off with some of the White House silver, gets to have a street closed off, then John Gotti had the right to have had the whole city closed down for him, and all he ended up with is being locked up in a room with no girls.

Several days have now passed since Clinton’s exit from Carnegie Hall, and now, thankfully, I can open the windows again.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Anti-Semitism an Incurable Disease

Why is anti-Semitism so popular and pleasurable as a persistent behavior pattern all over the world? People who care about the fate of the Jews are always searching for subtle, indefinable reasons to explain the intensity of anti- Jewish hostility and hate. The simple truth is that the answer is far from mysterious.

As a matter of fact, the answer is so obvious that you'd have to brainless not to see it. Everyone knows that whatever the crime committed against any Jew, the only price you'll pay will be the price of the ride to the crime scene and back. Instead of blaming the criminals, the Jews will get involved in an orgy of self-blame and guilt. And after blaming themselves, they'll start blaming each other. Somebody will be screaming, "It's your own fault! Why would you be walking in front of a Muslim mosque at 2 am," and the other one will argue "Why would I think they would recognize that I am Jewish," and another voice yells, "at least you could've been smart enough to wear sneakers!" Then some body says, "Let's report this to the police," while somebody else is saying, "Are you Crazy? What if they find out we reported it? Do you want to get us all killed? Right now they don't know who we are. Let's just get out of the neighborhood!"
It's because anti-Semites are aware that these are the typical reactions of the Jews to any violence committed against them, that they feel free to attack any Jew whenever they please. Is it any accident that all over England you hear of a stream of attacks against Jews, but you never hear any attacks against Muslims? (I know that even right now, you the reader, are trembling in fear of what I might write about the Muslims)

Is it any accident that British MP Mrs. Clare Short in the House of Commons attacked the Jews as vicious racists when their only crime, which she could think of, is that the Jews still exist, which she considers an offence to human decency? What right do they have to try to live in peace with the Arabs and constantly thwart every attempt of the Palestinian suicide bombers to annihilate their whole population? She claimed that the Jews practice an even more egregious form of apartheid than what existed in South Africa. Does she call it apartheid, when every Arab has equal access in every school, to every job, every health-care service, and every unemployment benefit? Currently, they even hold office in the Israeli parliament and every other branch of the Israeli government. Is she so ignorant that she doesn't know that none of these opportunities would be granted to any Jew living in an Arab nation? Besides, how would a Jew be able to achieve any of these same opportunities when in most cases, it wouldn't even be safe for a Jew to live there? But Mrs. Short, as anti-Semites all over the world know, you never suffer any consequences by attacking Jews. If anti-Semites really thought that Jews could be a menace of any kind, they would cower in fear as they now do to the Muslims. When was the last time that an Englishman made a hateful speech against Muslims? People are so fearful of Muslims, that they're even afraid to say “hello” without apologizing? English people are now begging forgiveness from Muslims for things they don't even remembering doing. Unlike the Jews of England, who spend all their time pleading just to be accepted in that country, the Muslims spend much of the time making demands and warning the people that they better be careful to respect them, be concerned how loud they talk to them, and not to criticize them. You also dare not paint the wrong cartoon, sing the wrong song, say the wrong thing, look the wrong way, or even laugh without an explanation. The Jews will never survive if they don't learn a great lesson from the Muslims who execute their power. Isn't it amazing that after committing so many acts of violence all over the world, not only are the Muslims not suffering for it, but actually the reverse has happened? They are the ones being treasured, respected, and venerated while every one is bowing to them in cowardly fear of the next possible attack. The Jews merely have to exist in order to generate ant-Semitism. Anti-Semites hated the Jews when they had nothing, and now they hate the Jews because of the claim that they have everything. No matter what the reason and even if it can't be called a reason, it becomes reason enough to hate a Jew.

Nobody in America today would dare attack the blacks with the same kind of fearlessness that they do to the Jews. Because if they did, in ten minutes you'd be facing marches, courtroom subpoenas, blocked streets, broken windows, millions in fines and an array of new taxes to pay for more school lunches and whole construction sites for new condominiums. White America is so desperate to pay any price to protect their safety, that they now offer the blacks gifts of every kind. First they were offered welfare payments even if they were able bodied workers and then they were presented with food stamps for staying home. Americans then invented "affirmative action" to give blacks, among many things, the advantage of college admission with 10 points less than failing scores. White America is so guilt ridden because of their history of discrimination against blacks, that they are gladly accepting a black candidate for president, whose level of experience wouldn't even qualify him to be a second tier lawyer in a third rate law firm if he was white.

If this world had the same fear of the Jews that they have of the Muslims or the blacks, the attacks on the Jews would never have existed. People never feel threatened when attacking a Jew because he's little guy with glasses carrying a brief case, and in case of an attack, he won't pull out a gun, he'll take out a fountain pen. He would not be ready to shoot the attacker; he'll be busy looking for a piece of paper to write his name down. The attacker always knows that when his victim is a Jew, he will not get hit or hurt. The Jew won't fight. He will cry, beg, scream or run. The attacker knows he can't lose life or limb because the victim can't fight; he's only preparing to sue. Now this describes the Jews outside of Israel. If the Jews in the Diaspora continue to follow this pattern of traditional helplessness, instead of behaving in accordance to the new pattern of behavior of the Israelis, who are ready to fight and survive at any price, they will be doomed to be hounded by anti-Semitism for the rest of their lives. This how they must behave even if it infuriates this yenta, the right honorable Mrs. Clare Short.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Petraeus

Vlog 54 Dems Fear Petraeus More Than Bin Laden


With Gen. David Petraeus’s report coming out soon and Bin Laden’s tape Just coming out, whose message do the Democrats fear more?

Hillary Clinton recently said that another Terrorist attack would only help the Republicans, but success in Iraq makes them quake in their boots. Petraeus months ago was touted by the Democrats as the best option for command in Iraq. If he can’t do the job, no one can! And now this same man, according to the Democratic leadership who unanimously confirmed him, can’t be trusted and will no doubt skew his report in the Presidents favor. Why are the Dems changing their opinion of the General you ask? Because months ago they counted on him to lose and now their worst fear may becoming true. G-d Bless America indeed! With “Leaders” like the ones we have in Congress right now, we need all the help we can get.

Click here to see the video

Jackie Mason Vlog 55 Democrats Have Gone Far Beyond Treason

A post Petraeus hearing follow-up to my previous vlog from Sunday, September 9th “Dems Fear Petraeus More Than Bin Laden”

The Democrats have proven themselves to be more reprobate and treasonous than even I could have predicted in my last vlog. They treated General Petraeus, this American hero who serves his country bravely, like a pig to slaughter. They never intended to hear good news from him. This was a set-up all along. A cold calculated plan they maneuvered months ago to take whatever the report was and skew it to their agenda. Hillary Clinton mentioned to believe the General’s report you must “…suspend your disbelief.” Well I’m in absolute disbelief how treacherous and treasonous this party has become.

click here to see the video

Friday, August 24, 2007

Jackie Mason "Political Correctness"

What I’m telling you is nothing new. I may not be the first to talk about it, and I certainly hope I’m not the last. But for all the complaints about political correctness you hear from mainstream sources, these sources still promote this sick practice even more today, then ever before.

When the Imas story was all you heard about for weeks, you heard condemnations all the time that what he said was disgusting and horrible, but not everybody thought he should’ve been fired. Even those like Hannity, and myself, who always disagreed with him, and didn’t care about him one bit, were outrages that he was fired from his job. Now, months after the fact, one of the woman from the Rutgers team is suing Imas on the grounds that she’ll always be labeled a “Ho” by potential suitors and employees throughout her life. “Look honey, nobody knew who you were until you publicized yourself in the civil suit.” Because this young woman is a “victim” of Imas’s words, no one is brave enough to call her out as the greedy person she is, to capitalize on this for a pay day. That, if there is any fairness in the world, should keep suitors and prospective employees away.

And today, as we try to stop Muslim extremism and terrorists, those words too are swiftly being removed from sight and sound. Illegal Immigrants, a PC term itself when it was first created (as opposed to refugee, displaced person, W.O.P. which stood for “With Out Papers” before it became a derogatory term specifically aimed at Italian Americans, etc.), is being replaced by “migrant worker”. I have two that are much better in my opinion, “Border Challenged” or “Uninvited Guest”.

For more, go to my video by clicking here

Monday, August 20, 2007

Jackie Mason "John Edwards And Why The Press Stinks"

John Edwards should thank G-d that this country’s sycophantic press is easy on him and his fellow democrats. His hypocrisy and double speak would’ve got him buried a long time ago if he had been a conservative.

Edwards, the describer of Two Americas, invested in a hedge fund that took advantage of Hurricane Katrina victims. He told his fellow candidates to give up all money from News Corp, yet took money from one of their subsidiaries, Harper Collins, and spewed a buch of double speak when confronted about that. Forget about how rich he is and all the extravagance he has, while saying he’s a “champion for the poor”. That just shows what a plain hypocrite he is. Now he’s an out and out crook, and where is the media? Where is the outrage? A better question is where is democracy? A “one party”, sycophantic press and a Democratic Party hell bent on promoting an agenda, partners in the destruction of democracy.

For more, click here…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvrqiEIq8sY

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Jackie Mason "It’s The Sub-Prime Mortgages Stupid!"

How can we say the economy is bad today? The anti-Bush crowd just hates to admit that our economy is better than ever. With the recent market volatility, they now have there reason that Bush’s economy is in the toilet. Well, its Sub-Prime mortgages stupid, not the economy that’s in trouble.

Now the left tells us, “You see! We told you the economy under Bush stinks”. The recent market volatility is because of these sub-prime mortgages. All the experts say that these mortgages only make up 2% of all the mortgages, and mortgages themselves, only make up 12 % of the economy. Now the democrats are attacking Bush for not doing anything to help people who can’t pay their mortgages. Meanwhile, they’re promising that if they were in power they would bail these people out. To me, it is the height of depravity to prey on dumb people by promising them thing they could never give them. Why is it the government’s job to bail these people out? It all sounds good to say, but when will this country understand, that the government gets its money from the people, including those who can’t pay their mortgages.

Here’s more on the subject…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwQwZucG9yY

Friday, August 10, 2007

Jackie Mason "Catching Technicalities Instead Of Crooks"

Why has legal and law enforcement system in this country, become more obsessed with catching people on technicalities, than catching people who commit actual crimes. Border agents, Ignacio Ramos and Jose Campeon, are sentenced to 12 years and jail, and not only does the drug dealer they shot trying to keep him from coming into this country get immunity from prosecution, he gets brought back to testify against the agents. And on another front, Critics of President Bush want to make absolutely sure, that Bush and the government are doing nothing to violate the civil liberties of terrorists and terror suspects, instead of trying to stop these villains. G-d forbid, we listen on a phone call or two of a terrorist. What the hell is wrong with us?

Look here…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDI68M1L77w

Monday, August 6, 2007

Jackie Mason "Making Muslims Happy"

Why do we bend over backwards to accommodate the Muslims? We give them their foot baths at Universities, we give them special rooms to pray at the airports, and we in some towns announce their prayer calls over loud speakers. We do this because we’re afraid, if we don’t, they’ll blow up a building. What other reason is there? In this country, you can’t say the word Christmas in any secular environment, yet we are allowing Sharia law to permeate every secular facet of society.

click here to see what what I say...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQqLMKOPbck

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Jackie Mason "The Weather Report"

Weathermen are nothing but vicious bastards who confuse and bother Jewish people. I’m joking of course, but this whole business of predicting the weather is, on a whole, is moronic.

Take a look here…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQL2wjQJYoQ

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Jackie Mason “Stop With The Racism Thing Already!”

Barack Obama says that there is still racism from whites in this country because he has trouble getting a cab sometimes in New York. Give me a break! How many white cab drivers are there in New York? Today, the richest woman in America, Oprah, our Secretary of State, and the Junior Senator from Illinois, Barack himself, is black. How racist could our society really be?

Watch here…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFfLaIEpaWU

Friday, July 27, 2007

Jackie Mason "Look… Primaries Are Fake!"

Let’s face it… The press in this country chooses for us, who the top tier candidates are, and we let them. How come the only qualified Democrat candidate, Sen. Biden, is completely ignored, while two candidates, who have done nothing in their careers other than be popular, are the front runners. Why not let the press pick the party nominee for us? Better yet, let’s have them just go ahead and pick the president for us. That would save us from having to go to the polls on November 7th.

Here's what I say...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlXGtIN0O4E

Friday, July 20, 2007

Jackie Mason "Hate Schmate...A Crime Is A Crime!"

Only a schmuck would think that crimes committed with hate should be prosecuted different than crimes void of hate. A crime is a crime you schmuck!

Well... you might not be a schmuck, look here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXHQq6ukwgI

If you don't agree with me than you might be a schmuck. If you do agree with me, I'm sorry I called you a schmuck, but you could still be one.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Jackie Mason “No Surprise The Terrorists Are Doctors”

Why are we surprised to find most terrorists are highly educated from affluent upbringings? It is dangerous to hold on to myth that terrorists are impoverished people, made that way by the Western, non-Islamic world.

Here’s my thought…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oP_XrMT7-w

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Jackie Mason “Oh… Pardon Me Mr. Clinton”

Clinton’s Criticism of Bush, commuting the sentence of “Scooter” Libby.

Bill Clinton, who essentially committed the same crime as Scooter Libby, but served no Jail time, criticizes Bush for commuting Libby’s Sentence. This same man who has commuted and pardoned outright 4 times as many people as Bush, many involving Clinton campaign contributions or payoff to Hillary’s brothers, is now saying that Bush is ignoring the law!

Take a look…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfppBV-0xas

Monday, July 2, 2007

Jackie Mason “Poles Are Always Right… Unless They’re Wrong"

I love how political pundits and prognosticators change their mind every time a new poll comes out. Is this predicting or just poll reading? If these people are experts, shouldn't they be predicting the polls instead?

Here’s my take…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tKRAIfrXdw

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Jackie Mason "What’s Fair About The Fairness Doctrine?"

McCarthyism is alive and well and residing in the mind of many Liberals. They can’t just be happy with owning 90% of the media, they need to dominate talk radio too.

Take a look

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4a5zsSoWJo

Monday, June 25, 2007

On Set With Jackie Mason

This film was made during my TV show a year ago. I think it's well done. Let me know what you think.

Enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lZBJzVtfs8

Legendary comedian Jackie Mason is not only a riot on screen and stage, but behind the scenes, as well.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Jackie Mason "Pieces Of My Mind On Bloomberg"

My different thoughts on Mayor Michael Bloomberg and why he's a big fake and fraud. He now says that he is an independent, independent of principles!

Here are my thoughts. Look...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCHOBLD68fk

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Breaking News: Jackie Mason Attempts The Hula Hoop

Comedian Jackie Mason is caught on video attempting to use a hula hoop. This definitly proves you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

For the record, I had nothing to do with posting this. But I can't figure out how to take it off. Oh well.

If you have to see me make a fool out of myself, click here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUbVUXNftBE